Now this is an interesting concept in Martial Arts, but what is? How do we go about defining it? In my view there seems to an awful lot of it demanded within Martial Arts. Demanded and I use that word purposefully because that is what I perceive.

Instructors demand respect from their students, students demand respect from their lower belts and it goes on. The one thing that is missing from this scenario is the fact that you cannot demand respect you have to earn it.

So what is it, how can we earn it, this is when it starts to get interesting.
Back to defining respect, it comes from the old French via Latin, ‘to regard’ modern definition is “a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference towards somebody or something”. Now that is an interesting sentence, it is a positive feeling towards someone.

WHY that is the obvious question, why what I hear you ask, why have this feeling towards someone? Well the usual answer is that this person has done something to you that has made you feel good about them. So how does this work in Martial Arts, its simple someone is nice to you, you are nice to them. Someone is good to you so you reciprocate the feeling. Now as you can see I have generalized the emotions and you are screaming but MA is different, is it? It is still a working relationship between teacher and student. I believe that the relationship between instructor and student should be the same as a guidance teacher and the pupil, or to put it in a more familiar scenario between parent and child. Let’s start to look at what the instructor is doing; he is offering his expertise as a MA to a naïve student to help to make that individual a better person. Once that person walks through the door the instructor should take him under his/her wing. He/she should not just collect the money show a few techniques and go home to count his/her takings. As a MA instructor you have the responsibility of helping your students to develop because that is what you are offering them in your flyers. An instructor is offering a better way of life to his/her students; unfortunately a lot (not the good and sincere ones) are only in it to make a buck. Some just need the money to fly of to seminars and never have to spend their own. Some use their status to demand huge fees for grading or seminars. Let me first say that we have a difference between professional MA and a Part time one. A professional has to make his living from his art, I see nothing wrong there but he IMHO still has to show the care for his students as the local instructor, in fact he should show a lot more because his students are the ones that are putting the bread on his table.

Now a lot of instructors demand to be called Sensei, Hanshi, Sifu etc when most of them can not speak a word of Japanese, Chinese or any other language anyway. OK it goes back a bit so a lot see it as formal. Formality is OK if you can not remember the persons name or if you want to keep a distance between yourself and your students. Martial Arts are supposedly a military way. It isn’t because we have jobs to go to and the likelihood of any of us getting in the scenario that years of training have given, is almost negligible

As an instructor, I earn my respect from my students and I respect them (just like family).
If I don’t respect them then it is incomprehensible to me that they should respect me.
They could call me sensei/renshi/Hanshi/sifu/guro (but mean “twat”) so why can instructors not see, no mater what you are called it is the friendship that counts. Friendship, now that is an interesting scenario in a martial arts relationship. Some people like to instruct they like to have the scenario of having people do what they tell them. The “power” syndrome rules here, they need to feel good about themselves so they best way to do that is to push people around in the only field of experience they may have. Sometimes this works well as a lot of people feel the need just to be told what to do, thinking for themselves does not enter the equation. This leads to a good working relationship between instructor and pupils. Respect is here as well but only its smallest form.

Other people like to teach; they feel the need to teach, to give their knowledge to other humans, to help bring out potential, to help develop strength of character. They like to watch their students develop, mature and grow in self esteem. They liked to be questioned not followed blindly; they earn the respect of their students. The student can see for themselves what is happening; they can feel the warmth of coming into the dojo/training hall brought about by their teacher. This feeling they get what should we define it as? I would like to call it respect in all its glory. If they students are looking forward to every class, to working out, to getting fit, to becoming a better Martial Artist to meeting their teacher again, that is respect. No amount of titles or demands can replace these genuine feelings and respect has grown in the atmosphere created between teacher and pupil. It is almost like a living organism without flesh, it needs to be nurtured, fed and developed with care, and then it takes on a life of its own and exists warmly and happily between the chemistry of the teacher and the students.

Ray Haughey